Arhiva | aprilie, 2013

Growing up

27 apr.

It is that sad moment when you realize how much the world has changed since you’ve last spoken to each other.

You sent her messages, you called, you tried, but nothing really happened. And when she finally answer, it was just to tell you she couldn’t talk.

And then, you see her on the bus. She ain’t even looking at you until you send her a message to do so. She waves at you and then she gets off at the next station, even though that’s not her usual stop.

Hey, get on your side, that’s mine. No it’s not. It iiiiiis ! Get off me ! Turn on the TV. Someone’s coming ! Quick, pretend to be asleep.

Late night talks, late night laughs, late night snacks. How did we get here ? I used to know you so well. I don’t know how when or why we drifted apart.You were the best friend of my childhood. Seeing you today hurt. You not looking my way hurt. You… just going away hurt.

If you read this…Do you miss me ?


Lacrimi de fericire

25 apr.

Nu stiu cum sa ma exprim mai bine ca sa pot transmite exact ce simt in momentul acesta, dar am sa incerc pe cat cu putinta sa explic cat mai in detaliu oricarui citeste ce inseamna sa te fericesti de bucuria altuia.

Astazi, in urma unei serii de evenimente care au rezultat in deplasarea mea intr-o parte a orasului pe care n-am mai vizitat-o de mult, am ajuns sa achizitionez doi covrigi cu ciocolata si doua Zorele. Toata lumea stie ce sunt covrigii cu ciocolata. Ei bine, cat despre Zorele, acestea sunt prajiturele de tip paleu, foarte dulci, cu glazura de ciocolata. Un covrig si o Zorea au ajuns drept in stomacul meu in mai putin de trei minute. Restul de doua produse le-am pastrat pentru sora mea mai mica.

Ei bine, surioara mea nu a mancat decat covrigul, dupa care si-a luat talpasita. In schimb, un pofticios mai mare si-a facut aparitia la scurt timp. Taica-miu a insfacat Zoreaua, a halit-o si a zambit si si-a ranjit fasolele la mine multumit timp de 5 minute. Mi-a povestit cum manca el Zorele cand era mic micut.

In momentul acela, mi-am dat seama cat de bine m-am simtit sa-l vad pe omul care imi face mie bucurii zilnice… fericit.


23 apr.

Lately, I’ve been tanking old deals I used to have with myself and that’s not happened only because the season’s changed and so did I, but also because I fear now.

I fear a lot of things, I’m weak. I’m living through other people’s stories and feelings, like a parasite digging its way deeper and deeper into an imaginary universe, only sustained by an own desire of existing differently. Flames sliding on rocky ice. Butterflies singing trashy operas. Flowers clinging onto the clouds while pouring feelings over the world. Pixie dust ? No more.

Imagination meets reality. KA-BOOM. Collision.

Bruises are not necessary. All in all, it’s all about the psycho side.

Hello, darling. Do you want some candy?


And now I’m shattered

5 apr.

It’s been a while since I walked home alone at night.

I don’t like being out alone when the sun’s not up anymore. I have this fear of dark since I born, even though I shouldn’t.

You weren’t there and suddenly, each person on the street began following me in my head. Panic and adrenaline were rushing through my veins. It was like my home was getting more far with each step I took. It wasn’t fun like 20 minutes ago. I don’t feel safe without you, I can’t. It’s just that my brain goes trippin’ and catches every look around. My feet are moving at their highest speed and it’s like I can’t even feel them; the roads crowd up and all the lights are getting loose and my head is spinning along with my tears.

Fear. I think I’m at my weakest when I fear, I’m at my weakest when you’re away.